If you plan to have sex with a man with a prostate, or if you have a prostate yourself, you may be wondering about how to massage it (and what it can do for your sex life). It may initially appear frightening, but we guarantee you there is a significant attraction. The only way to activate the prostate gland, popularly known as the “P-spot,” is through the anal area.
In addition, exploring sex in ways that make everyone involved feel comfortable while delivering new feelings and experiences is part of the equation for successful sex. However, whenever you do something new, both in and out of bed, you must consider health and safety concerns. Learn why you would want to learn how to massage a prostate, as well as the most effective and secure techniques.
Okay, what is the prostate and where is it located?
Mark Hong, M.D., a urologist in Phoenix, tells us that the prostate is a walnut-sized gland hidden deep within the male pelvis. It helps generate semen and nourishes it with vital nutrients, he says. Cisgender women don’t have prostates.
The prostate, however, is composed of stroma, secretory glands that make sperm components, and muscle fibres in those who have them. It is situated directly in front of the bladder, and the prostate gland’s ducts actually run into the urethra, which explains why prostate problems can influence urine function. For instance, the Mayo Clinic states that a person with an enlarged prostate (which is typical as individuals age) may have an increased need to urinate, among other symptoms.
Why does prostate stimulation feel so good?
Hong argues that the anus and its surrounding region are dense with nerve endings. This is precisely why anal play may feel so wonderful regardless of whether you have a prostate. Dr. Hong further adds that the prostate contains several blood vessels that expand in response to an increase in blood flow. The additional blood helps to increase the area’s sensitivity, which can enhance enjoyment.
Despite being surrounded by nerve endings, the anus is also encircled by stigma. Parts of the human body, such as the vagina, anus, and even the mouth, have inherent roles but may also provide extreme pleasure. It’s acceptable to experiment with different sexual actions, and it’s always a good idea to explore new methods to enjoy pleasure.
Are there any hazards or adverse effects associated with prostate massage?
“Both the anal mucosa and the anus itself are quite sensitive,” adds Hong. Although the anus is designed to extend to a certain degree, it does not self-lubricate; therefore, anal stimulation without sufficient safeguards can cause discomfort and tears (which would leave you vulnerable to infection).
This implies that preparing for providing and receiving a prostate massage is of the utmost importance for everyone concerned (more on that below). It is also important to note that this may initially feel a little awkward. As previously reported by us, ensuring that you engage in sufficient foreplay is a significant factor in reducing the likelihood of experiencing discomfort and ripping.
How do you prepare to offer a prostate massage?
There are two types of safety associated with sexual activity: physical and psychological. Hong emphasises that psychological safety begins with permission. Lexx Brown-James, Ph.D., L.M.F.T., tells us: “Prostate stimulation is not something you should surprise your spouse with; it requires some planning.”
This requires bringing it up orally before to conducting business. According to Brown-James, a simple “You know, there’s something I’ve been very interested to try…” might help start a conversation.
If you and your spouse agree to attempt it, you must also consider physical safety, which entails preventing anal injuries. Since this is the case, it may be useful to understand some best practises prior to communicating with your spouse. This allows you to discuss any issues you or they may have.
The initial step in prostate-safe play is to wash your hands with soap and water. These recommendations from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention are useful (CDC).
As you likely know from the recent coronavirus epidemic, keeping your hands clean (and avoiding touching your face when your hands are not clean) is one approach to prevent the transfer of germs from your hands to your eyes, nose, or mouth. It is also important to note that you do not use antibacterial soap for this. As previously reported by us, conventional hand soap will suffice.
After your hands are clean and dry, you may choose to don latex gloves. Gloves can safeguard both of you by preventing anal bacteria from spreading to other regions of the body (such as the penis or vagina) during prostate movement.
There are two more advantages to gloves: If your nails are longer, they can lessen the likelihood that they will injure your partner and make any necessary cleanup easier. (Here are some anal sex recommendations that can reduce the likelihood of poop encounters.)
How does a person prepare to have a prostate massage?
Note that prostate massages might induce the sensation of needing to urinate, thus the individual receiving a prostate massage should likely empty their bladder first. The two of you should then take deep breaths.
Deep breathing triggers the body’s relaxation response, which is beneficial for all parties involved, and a relaxed anal sphincter is a happy anal sphincter (and much easier to enter). Consider that the more relaxed and receptive an individual is, the more comfort and pleasure they are likely to enjoy.
Remember that the physical posture may make obtaining a prostate massage more comfortable or practical. As previously reported by us, some individuals believe that being on top makes anal penetration simpler. For instance, your spouse can kneel with your hand between their legs. However, it will likely require experimenting to determine which posture is most comfortable for the individual receiving a prostate massage.
How does one locate the prostate?
First, you may approach the prostate through the perineum, which is located between the testicles and the anus. Communication is crucial at every stage.
Even before you start, you should discuss with your partner what feels good for both of you. You may determine factors such as the optimal number of fingers (or fingers) to use. You can agree on whether a forceful or gentle touch is appropriate.
Possibly, as you discuss the situation, you will realise that both of you are comfortable enough to explore and see what seems right in the moment. In this way, even if prostate massage is not something you wish to integrate frequently into your sex life, you will have explored it in a manner that is safe and enjoyable for all parties involved.
How do you massage the prostate with your fingers?
If, after discussing a few particulars, you are still unsure of where to begin, Brown-James provides several strategies. Brown-James explains, “Bring your pointer, middle, and ring fingers together, then press up into [the perineum].”
Stimulating this region with forceful yet delicate strokes stimulates the prostate as well. Brown-James suggests tactics such as rubbing clockwise for eight to ten strokes, then turning counterclockwise, stroking toward the scrotum, or contacting the penis while massaging your partner’s perineum.
Even if you’ve presumably already discussed what you both want, you and your partner should discuss what you believe you might each want to do and feel, and then, if you agree to test things out, do so, making sure you’re both honest about what feels good and what doesn’t.
Lubrication is required to go beyond the perineum and truly enter the anus. Keep in mind that silicone-based lubricants can ruin silicone sex toys, while oil-based lubricants destroy condoms. However, if you’re using your fingers, any option should suffice. Consider an anal-specific lubricant, such as Pjur Back Door Silicone Lubricant ($30; Babeland), or a more general lubricant, such as Please Cream Lubricant ($9; Babeland). Avoid using any numbing agents, with or without lubricant.
As previously reported by us, numbing medications containing topical anaesthetic chemicals, like as benzocaine, are easily available, but this does not imply that they are a suitable alternative for anal play.
According to Brown-James, pain is a signal to halt. If you and your partner are both new to anal penetration, or if you are both new to anal penetration with each other, it is recommended that you begin with a pinky, unless you both opt to begin with a larger finger. Once your finger is sufficiently lubricated, you may try stroking your partner’s anus and the region surrounding it, and then gently slipping it in—just be careful to check in so that your spouse isn’t taken off guard (unless you’ve both decided it should be a surprise).
Hong, who has conducted hundreds of prostate exams, stresses the need of proceeding at a speed that is comfortable for your partner. Once you have a finger in and your partner’s approval, the next steps are up to both of you. As Brown-James stated, the region is a “playground,” so feel free to move your finger in a manner that is pleasing and comfortable.
If you’re seeking for a specific approach, Brown-James offers pushing your finger upwards toward the front of their body in a “come here” gesture. Because the prostate is somewhat deeper and higher than the anus, this upward motion is an effective approach to make touch.
How about massaging the prostate with a toy?
Choose only a sex toy that is particularly designed for anal play, meaning it has a flared base or another feature that prevents anything from entering that cannot be expelled. You may try the Booty Bling Plug ($28; Babeland), but there are other devices particularly designed for prostate play.
The Hugo Prostate Massager ($219; Babeland) is a sleek toy with two motors for pressure and vibration, and the Duke Vibrating Prostate Massager ($105; Babeland) has a unique form that focuses prostate stimulation as well as perineum pressure while is intended to produce a genuine sense of fullness.
Please do not explore prostate pleasure with random household objects, even if you do not have a toy designed exclusively for prostate play. “Every physician who has ever worked in the emergency room has a tale about an anal sex item gone wrong,” cautions Hong. “If you can conceive of anything, it’s likely been up the rectum.”
If all of this makes your partner feel wonderful, they may orgasm due to the stimulus. According to Brown-James, there might be a climax during prostate play that does not include ejaculation. As long as you and your companion are having fun, the voyage is significantly more essential.
Any last recommendations or things to avoid?
Let’s just summarise, shall we?
The many nerve endings in the anus and surrounding region make stimulating the prostate, a gland the size of a walnut located in the male pelvis, extremely pleasurable.
Due to the sensitivity of the anal lining and anus, prostate massages can cause discomfort and tears. It is crucial to prepare beforehand, beginning with conveying your and your partner’s comfort levels.
You must also physically prepare by cleaning your hands, putting on latex gloves if you so want, taking deep breaths, and indulging in foreplay.
If you are using your fingers to massage the prostate, you might explore by exerting strong yet mild pressure to the perineum, the region between the testicles and anus.
Lubrication is required prior to anal entry, however numbing drugs should be avoided.
Use only sex toys with flared bases for anal play.